Future?

What does the future really hold? For some of us there isn't even a future. Some toss it aside, and others die.

As I get older I find myself thinking more about the past. I'm not as excited for the future as I used to be - I seem to just want to stay where I'm at. I am getting closer to 21 years old, yes I know, I am young. I remember when I was 16 being very excited about that event, but really, I could care less now.

My past is like a ..well I don't even know. But it was full of so much happiness, youthful rebellion, feelings of revolution, liberation and anything else that describes feeling free. I must say I am glad for my experiences, sometimes I wish I could have some of them back.

Sometimes I wish I could have all my friends back, people who understood me, people who were just like me. But in the end, people who screwed me over, and because of nothing.

maybe its because im so young, maybe its my generation -- but i swear everybody is on drugs. and im not trying to exaggerate this but i only know a few people who aren't. I'm not even talking about weed, im talking about actual chemically made drugs from bleach or toliet cleaner, or whatever the hell people are choosing to kill themselves with these days.

the world is a sad place. and i feel like a waste of space at the moment.